Teach your kid to argue — with themselves

I created a bit of controversy last week.

That’s ok — I love stirring the pot. 😉

But I was a little surprised that the statement in question was that parents should… think for themselves.

Here’s what I said. 👇

Most of you totally understood and appreciated what I was getting at:

Others, not so much:

Lemme tell ya why I wholeheartedly disagree with this. 👆

By teaching kids that everything is black and white, you disable their desire to think for themselves. 

Most challenges we encounter in our lives don’t have a clear right or wrong answer, and if kids see the world through those binary terms they become:

• A slave to their beliefs

• Unable to make nuanced decisions

• Incapable of understanding the viewpoints of others

One of the best ways to avoid this is to teach your kid to argue — with themselves.

Let's break down why arguing with themselves is crucial for their brains, how they see the world, and how they learn. 👇

Mental Agility — Give their brain a workout

Mental agility is about quick thinking and not getting stuck on one idea. Mastering it enables kids to swiftly consider different viewpoints or strategies.

Why is that important?

It builds the resilience needed to adapt their thinking in the face of new challenges.

👉 How to nail it—

🤸 Pick a side, then flip it: Got an essay or project? Have them argue one side, then switch. It’s like brain gymnastics.

🍽️ Home debate night: Turn the dinner table into a debate lectern. Today’s position? Anything. Tomorrow? The opposite.

🧐 History what-ifs: Dive into history’s big moments. Ask, "What if it went down differently?" — then explore a world where America didn’t win the revolution, or MLK didn’t have a dream.

Discernment — Question everything

News, social media, even what friends say – it’s a minefield of information.

Practicing discernment means cutting through the noise and finding the truth. It's about not taking information at face value.

Teaching kids to question trusted sources, like even –gasp!– their teachers, prepares them to think independently and critically about the content they consume.

👉 How to nail it—

🔦 Truth hunt: Next time they quote a TikTok fact, challenge them to dig deeper. Where's it from? Any bias?

🔪  Flip the script: They trust a source? Cool. Now find reasons not to. It’s not about distrust — it’s about sharpening their mind.

Autonomy  — A study group of one

Kids who can debate themselves are less reliant on others for learning.

By teaching them to question, debate, and form their own conclusions, they're more inclined to engage deeply with material, leading to indestructible lifelong learning habits.

Question more — depend less.

👉 How to nail it—

📖 Decision-making diary: Have them keep a journal of decisions they make, detailing why they made them, the outcomes, and what they learned.

❓ Questioning as a reflex: Make "why?" their favorite question. Not just to others, but to themselves.

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Arguing with themselves isn’t about self-doubt or moral ambiguity. In fact, it’s the opposite. It develops intrinsic confidence and solid values.

When kids challenge their own ideas, they’re not just learning – they’re leading.